Cage of words

I am not free
wind blows, sand erodes, birds flee
but me
I am not free
water falls, oceans toss to sea
but me
I am not free
fire dances, sky glows, stars in trees
but me
I am not free

are you?

::Nov 28, 2007::

waisted
tasted
tattered and sweet
life slips out
from under the street
like garments hidden
beneath silk and shimmer
night falls

My hands

watashi no te
  nash-
watashi no me
  namida
watashi no kokoro
  anata

  anata

       watshi no te


--

In my hands
 nothing
In my eyes
 tears
In my soul
 you

 you

       in my hands

Japan Dreaming (Nishikawa yume mo)

Wind blows
leaves fall
autumn rising up
and my heart fills
with memory

Anatatachi zen zen wasurenai!
Tomodachi, machi mo, band mo,
minasan... wasurenai.

Itsu no hi - watashi wa anatatachi aimasu...
yakusoku
wasurenai

sabishi yo

Autumn Lullaby

serenade me with wishes
felled of leaves on chilled ground
dust vision with hues
muted in the smoky haze
of smoldering autumn
kiss my senses
with innumberable
memory of life
waiting for sleep
under a blanket
of winter's care

Submission

I keep thinking I will send in something I have written. Gazing at the white screen in front of me I imagine a grand check and the possibility of fame.  

Then I try to type, and the only thing I can write about is that I am not writing or submitting anything...

interesting. 

Testing

For over a week I have been unfindable... but alas perhaps.... my blog space has been revived, and revived correctly! :) 

LOL   

 

A woman is nothing -

a woman is nothing -
the moments she made
the struggles, the tears
the lessons and fears
the reality of the shoes
she stands in - something.

In the end

:Death
happens to us all
be patient
intreptidly so

and for me a stranger
death, a notion
an eventual motion
into a place I do not
venture
But strangely I figure
as you stand tall
and give lecture
on the philosophy of living
and dying
I cannot help but wonder
if for men like you
even death smiles

Go Iowa Register!!

Quote from desmoinsregister.com

Of course, many Iowans were upset by the decision striking down Iowa's gay-marriage ban. Letters to the editor and phone messages have poured in. Some readers say they were offended by the Register's photos of same-sex couples showing their affection toward each other by kissing. The usual suspects rolled out the usual arguments against legalizing gay unions.

Among them: Gay marriage jeopardizes the sanctity of heterosexual marriage.

So, how is your marriage doing today? Have things fallen apart since ceremonies like this one took place? Does the union of couples like Kassis and Lowman negatively impact you or your relationships?

We doubt it. It's hard to believe that two people making a commitment to stay together has anything other than a positive impact on their immediate communities.

Perhaps part of the trouble is that people get hung up on the term "marriage." The state should quit using that term and instead grant a civil union - in essence a legal contract between two people. Religious institutions should set the rules for a marriage.

Whether it's called a marriage or a civil union, and whether it's between same-sex or opposite-sex couples, it fosters commitment and stability and financial security and love.

It doesn't jeopardize heterosexual marriages. If anything, couples should be inspired by the enduring commitment of Kassis and Lowman. After all, 30 years is a lot longer than many heterosexual couples stay together.

Say what Mitt Romney?

"As Republicans we must oppose discrimination and defend traditional marriage: one man, one woman," Romney says in his radio spot.

Yep - he said people must oppose discrimination but defind marriage (one man and one woman in his mind) which get this

DISCRIMINATES AGAINST A GROUP OF PEOPLE!!

So oppose discrimination when it affects you... but embrace it when it suits your needs.  Do they think people are stupid?  The answer to that question is a resounding YES!

Here is a quote fro his ad: 

“The courtroom should be a place where laws are interpreted, not made...The court ruling in Iowa is just another example of an activist judge trying to find things in the Constitution that aren’t there. As Republicans, we must oppose discrimination and defend traditional marriage: one man, one woman.” 

“That’s why Mitt Romney is supporting a Federal Marriage Amendment to the Constitution.”

BUT HE IS WANTING TO PUT something IN the Constitution that is NOT THERE!  How can he argue against something (see quote about judge) and turn around and then do something in the same vain and call it right!?

Again I ask, what is the big deal?  

What are they so damn afraid of?  

Why can't 'traditional marriage' co-exist with 'traditional gay marriage'?  

Mitt Romney makes me sick!  

Some interesting information: 

Marriage and Divorce (Data are for U.S. for year indicated)

* Number of marriages: 2,230,000 (2005)

* Marriage rate: 7.5 per 1,000 total population (2005)

* Divorce rate: 3.6 per 1,000 population (46 reporting States and D.C.)

Source: Births, Marriages, Divorces, and Deaths: Provisional Data for 2005, table A  (http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/nvsr/nvsr54/nvsr54_20.pdf)

Ban This Maryland!

If you have not read the article on Maryland's ban on same-sex marriage - you should do so.  It is interesting that a judge made a medical determination regarding gays in order to perpetuate discrimination!  

"Writing for the majority, Judge Glenn Harrell Jr. ruled that there is no historical foundation for the state to recognize marriages between people of the same gender. Moreover, he wrote, homosexuality is not an "immutable characteristic," such as gender or race, that one is born with; therefore it does not deserve special consideration by the state. In other words, the state may regulate marriage any way it likes — setting the marriagable age at 15, for example, and limiting marriage to heterosexual couples."

Does it matter if someone is born with something or not?  Does it then give another group the right to discriminate?  A 'normal' man is born with both legs and both hands, looses them in an accident, is now handicap - so because he was not born handicap he cannot have the same rights as others?  People can discriminate against him because he is different?  

There are so many examples, burn victims, adopted children, people of different faith, interacial unions, etc...  

What is it that scares heterosexuals so much about gays getting married and having the same rights as they do?  Are they afraid thier religion will be imposed upon?  If we truly have separation of church and state, then no matter what the state said, the church would not have to give marriage to gays... but the state would.  A judge would have to do it, but a priest wouldn't.  

Besides the fact that my religion does not find gays to be a bad thing...  So now what?

Of course, the religious Christian right wants to merge church and state - and in the end it is going to bite them in the ass.  

And you know what - I will use thier fear against them.  I will make certain my partner is taken care of and that every legal action is taken to secure our propoerty and our lives against those who would covet it for themselves in one form or fashion.  

Someday - we will have all of our freedoms back, some day.  And what will history say of those who have discriminated... who have decided they will withold basic rights... 

They will call them elitists, tyrannists, terrorists, fanatics, and ....

wrong.

Get a man to do it

They have done it again!  They have suggested using a man in order to make a point with a salesman!  

Like men have been so good at solving problems (insert list of wars and atrocities commited in the name of, by, and for men!)  

I don't need a man to help me make a phone call to a sales man to tell them they were pricks and I will not be back.  I don't need a man to rescue me from the uncomfortable reality of my life!  I don't need a man or any one else to be given the power of superiority over me - and perpetuate the social mispersecption of the valuelessness of women.  

I have a voice.  So do you!
I have strength.  So do you!
I have wit, charm, and am clever.  So are you!
I have a voice....   so do you!  so use it!

In the end, what I need, what the world needs, is less women who perpetuate the bullshit of helplessness in order to placate to the ego of a centuries old patriarcal mind. 

It makes me so angry I almost want to turn around and berate the woman for suggesting to another she need to use a man in order to get her point across.  

But I won't.  I will however, bring in my latest copy of Cunt and The Dance of the Dissident Daughter for anyone and everyone to see!!

Suggested reading: 

Cunt: http://www.amazon.com/Cunt-Declaration-Independence-Live-Girls/dp/1580050158

Dance of: http://www.amazon.com/Dance-Dissident-Daughter-Christian-Tradition/dp/0061144908/ref=pd_bbs_1/102-3541472-8156965?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1190035592&sr=1-1

Perpetuating the Lack of Feminine

They are speaking of buying a car
'Go in looking sexy
get a better deal
No use my husband as your own
get a man to do it
get a man to help'

'because sales men respond better to men'

It makes me sick to my stomach!
as a woman
of strength, wit, and intelligence
women perpetuating the idea
we must play the damsel in distress
in order to succeed
in order to have what we need
simply because we bleed
that makes our humaness 
less....
human?
than a man?

It makes me sick

I am a woman 
I am a human being
I am capable of doing anything and all things
because I can... 



 

A case against words

Words
double edged
painfully accurate
decend upon my heart
with woundful intent
rendering wit
silence
and breath
mute of song

See me See you

Blind as the majority may be
see I you as you see me
beyond the headlines of 
obscurity
left to dwindle down the page
hiding
in the chaos
of everyday truth
where you see me and I see you.
Life plucked out 
from momentary suspicion
innocently motivated
but none the less 
built in submission
stand I we, against you
against me
to see what  others blindly leave
behind in newspapers
rotting along the side of the road.
Conspiracy manipulates
truth deviates
enigma of revelation
misinterpretation
hiding in the lines of 
a minor character's tale...
this is where I will prevail.
So read this and play for me
the tune I know you hear
and I will tell you  truly
it is you who should hold fear.
For voices will not quiet be
long the hallways dim with perseptions
calculat..ing
in this people's sea
because I see you
as you see me.
And we are not afraid.

A minor constellation of thought

it floats about in my vision
a minor revision 
of my thoughts
on a moment 
caught up in 
momentary movement 
around a star
brilliantly arrayed
and stappled
to the canvas
called my life.
What is this
constellation
interpretation
points on a page
a distinction of age
to reflect upon 
the happenings
of the universe
and its unfolding
perfection
to say
all things are significant
and not so
at the same time
my rhythm
my rhyme
my vision
me

Diaphanous \dy-AF-uh-nuhs\ adj.

I feel as if my soul,
diaphonous and free,
filters the light just enough
to let shadow create shape
and define myself
with width and candor

suh • roo • lee • uhn bloo

Days with you
pass into memory
and remain
immovable and soaked
through to the core
of my skin
like cerulean blue
laid bare
on the imperfection
of cotton stretched
upon bones of wood;
lingering love
for ages to
vie for
and ransom
to those seeking
its mystery
though none will know save
the painter
now lost to
the passing of time.

Blueberry Blue and other colors

When I was a child, I learned my ABCs and my 123s. Quite easy lessons if it must be told. I remember one day my cousin was learning how to count money and I wanted to join, but was told I was too young to understand it; so I counted the pennies in my head. I was right every time save one when my cousin's hand hid two underneath, but I was the only one who knew.

I loved counting. I would count with the Count on television and sing 123..45..678910...11..12 all day long. I counted the cracks in the sidewalk to the front door of my house. I even counted the legos in the big red box my father had bought me not forgetting the one I had gotten stuck in the bottom of R2D2 on christmas morning. I counted shooting stars from the back of a station wagon with my best friend at the time, and counted the number of nails we had to finish building our tree house. I counted until I could count no more. Now I count other things - less tangible - less identifiable. I count the colors of my heart.

When I was in junior high I remember learning the colors of the rainbow. ROY G BIV. I made up a story about Roy. He was a prince in a far away kingdom who had stolen the coat of colors from a man who claimed it was from a man who had been with a man who sold his brother into slavery. He wore it proudly, as if it were a magical thing. Then one day he gave it to me. It looked a lot like a sheet from my twin bed, but I would tell him no different. It did have magical powers though. That story is for another day.

Anyway - colors are counted and there is no end to them as there is no end to numbers. ROY G BIV is just a fraction of a fraction of the truth of colors, though no one tells you that in school. The rainbow is just seven colors. RedorangeyellowgreenblueindigoANDviolet! But as I have grown and traveled the world I have come to know there are more colors than anyone could imagine.

Isn't it always like that? We learn as children one way. It is not necessarily wrong, but it is definitely not the entirety of truth. We learn the sky is blue, but no one tells you why until they think you are old enough to know. We learn 2 + 2 = 4, but not in some cases it could be more if you let someone like George play with the rules. You don't learn that until you are in High School - if you are lucky. I learned white is the color of weddings and happiness, only to be surprised to find out it is not so lucky in Asia - where the color most sought after is red. Silk red. Made with a hundred million petals of a beni-bana... which if soaked properly and numerous times the silk will go from yellow to blood red. One thing made to traverse a great number of identities. Again, lessons we don't always learn right away.

So it is I love colors now. I have been innocently pale and ruby red delicious. I have swollen with the color of sapphire blue so sad the trumpets of old man Blue himself could not play. I have felt the hand of dusks orange wrap about my soul like a friend. I have tasted lemon yellow on a winters day because I was too sick to drink anything else. But there are more colors...

Raspberry red, Mango orange, Sun Yellow Rue, and petulant pink.

There is the color of normal.....
There is the color of money....
The color of sin....
and my favorite

Blueberry blue. The color of my life. Some might say it is ironic in a way - eat to many blueberries and you will get sick. Eat it too ripe and you'll wish you had a dash of sugar to soften the sting. But no matter what - you can't eat just one blueberry... and like my life I cannot think of one moment which I could live without. Despite all of my learning the little truths and the bigger ones to come along..... there is not just one to taste.

So where was I going with all of this?

We count the blessings and misfortunes in our life, and sometimes the color of those blessings or misfortunes seem to drown in a sea of too litte or too much. But always, if we pay attention, there is not one or another that is the right color - there is not one way to paint the world.

There are so many colors... and we need them all to make our life meaningful. Blueberry and other colors.... yours and mine.

The things you didn't hear

the things you didn't hear
are the things haunting me most.
the things you didn't see
are the things of twist and choke
the things you didn't taste
are the things of gold and mine
the things you didn't believe in
are the things i hold divine
the things you never touched
are the things left to loss
and the things you said no words to
are the things with greatest cost
the things you didn't hear
are the things haunting me...
most

I heard she has a soul

heard she has a soul
and it is the ocean
vast and deep
raging, full wakeful sleep
She said she lives for me
But why should I care
Her breath is mine
and I am fine
no need to read
the letters and submissions
filled with omissions
exchanging dialogue
within white house universities
there are other adversities
I cast my eyes to
I heard she has a soul
and it is the sky
Brilliant, blue with diamond eyes
flickering with the bickering
of trusts and lusts
and oversized combo-rations
99 down and new decorations
don't pay until 2010
until then...
She said she lives for me
But why should I care
When was there time to feel
overworked, stressed out and billed
taxed braked and shaking
too much to handle
toss about and shake me
overloaded sensations
in contemplation of dollar signs
to stop
and think
we are all very incomplete
out of sync
shredding through spam
in a can of reality
served cold and
leaving us all
alone.
I heard she has a soul
and it is beat in me
raging pull, set it free
singing motivation
break free from suffocation
with a power to prevail
ink filled, electronic or otherwise
to dispel the lies
of a hundred tries
talk it, walk it and truly do
anything but wait...
She says she lives for me
and one eve' just after pause
when day turned into dusk
and dusk to dawn
I silenced my protest-ations
like a maestro at the end of ovations
because She said she lives for me
and I need to be
like the ocean and the sky
in my small voice
lift up and cry
telling of the need to see
with all of our eyes
the we's, the you's
the them's and us-es
in all our daily grinds
rhythms and rhymes
passing of the time
in ticks, tocks
Lives for me
breaths and dies by me
I heard she has a soul
and I believe

Dusk

like dust lingering in the air
casting bits of shadow
so as to see the sun's kiss
or peach skin glowing in the warmth
of its season nearly ready to pluck
and yet waiting patiently still
So to am I just before night
casting a bit of shadow
waiting patiently anxious

and as the light crawls
its way to waiting eyes
still heavy with sleep
half a world away
I linger in this inbetween
like a whisper in love
with the lips that utter it
and a dream in love
with the dreamer

Such is the mood of
a breath before nightfall
dusk

Am I a coward

for not bending to kiss
the petals of a rose
transfixed so by
a fear I carry
clumbsy whit
upon my lips
I dare not venture
to risk insulting
the rose itself
and languish
at the missed
joy
of its fragrance?

I fear the answer is yes
and vow to ne'er
be so swayed by
fear again

Sit with me awhile

Sit with me awhile.
Let dreams undreamt
keep company with the
cobwebs and spidery thoughts
of nights past.
Sit with me awhile.
Breathe in the shadows
lingering in corners
drawn with expectation
of days long since dead.
Sit with me awhile.
Weave hue soaked tales
lovingly dried on pages
crumbling from hands
aged with bygone eves.
Sit with me awhile.
Melting memories untouched
to laugh in fires’ delight
kindling kindred hearts
of our inspiration.
Sit with me awhile.
Let courage unfettered
write out our remains
gathering in clutched hands
of days to come.